The Travails of Mr. Common Face

A friend of mine once said: "You do have a common face. You could be a spy". Imagine saying that in the weeeeiiiirdest French accent you clould hear.

Of course I was flushed with admiration on my not so common face! I mean, this guy I just met in Maungdaw gave me the ultimate score on my looks! And he is French at that! (Hello... fashion, ring a bell?)

And then when he left Myanmar, he sent me an email saying, I should work for the CIA! Bastard, doesn't he know that any form of communication is being read, translated and transcribed in Myanmar? So, I said, why not work for the CIA? I've been dodging bullets all my life anyway.... (flash: career change).

So going back to my common face, I remember the following anecdotes in my exciting life that I have been mistaken, unidentified and un-minded. Let me give you recent stories of my predicament:

1. Hong Kong this July 2009. I wanted to buy a reload card for my phone at the 7-11 shop just below the hotel where I was staying. The teller couldn't understand shit as I was doing a lot of non-verbal ways to "say" what I want. (Hint: try "reload card" when you play a game of charades with your friends). So this pinay (wearing sexy jeans shorts) came to me and explained in broken chinese what I wanted. I thanked her, profusely, and she asked me in this wonderful accent that is Bisaya: " Asa man ang amo mo dong?".

2. On the plane from HK to Manila, I was lucky to be seated far from the maddening crowds of passengers eager to go home. The guy next to me, has been looking at me like he wanted to strike a conversation. Tired and jetlagged, I decided to sleep the trip off. Halfway through the Land of Winks, I hear the girl next to him telling him that her employer/boss plan to take her to Auckland. She then said: " Kuya, saan ba yung Auckland?" The guy next to me said: "Malapit sa Ohio yan. Sa States." Can't resist any longer, I burst out saying: "Nasa sa New Zealand po yun..." The guy (God bless his innocence) looked at me and said: "Seaman ka ba sir? Mukhang Chiefmate ka na,ah!"

Hay... I could tell you all stories about me barred by the guards in Churachandpur from getting inside the clinic and office -- because I look like Meitei or the time I was mistaken as a Japanese in Melbourne (by another japanese!). This just simply justify the FACT, that I could really work for the CIA.

Career change?

Fun, fun. Joy, joy.

Ironic Man: The Curious Case of The Reader With The Hang Over (or simply, Me in Manila)

After more than 2 months of intense hibernation, the grizzly bear slowly awakes and attacks. the smell of a new season gently seeps into his cave, giving him thoughts of food and pleasures for his taking. The hunger is getting stronger, the need more imminent. He is ready to pounce on anything that fancies his discerning eye. He is ready.

And then he caught a rather nasty case of flu so went back to bed and sleep for another winter.

Life.

Just when I am about to go for a rather long holiday, i got this rather weird flu: My nbose (yeah you read it as you see it) is combgesteb with the wonderful air from Manila, my body is aching from my toes to the tips of my hair, my eyes look like Dopey after a pipe of Hash with Snow White. Heck, imagine all the seven dwarfs in one guy!

So just when I have the inspiration to tread the paved stinking streets of Manila, armed with an umbrella (it's raining intermittently), a pack of condoms (hey, who knows, I might be lucky), flip flops (it is flooding around Ermita --- yuck, imagine all the goos flushed having an interpersonal relationship with my feet!) and a determination to spend at least a thousand bucks a day --- I got this flu!

(Isn't it ironic, don't you think? It's like rain on your wedding day.....it's a free ride....)

Thank you Alanis Morrissette for putting into undying words and music what I feel. I think I should put you up there with my favorite artists along with Pirot (remember Pronvincial Jail?), Snoop Dogg and Judy Ann Santos singing a lullaby.

Great.

Might as well torture me with watching pinoy teleserye.