Weddings:Wonder or Woes?

i am attending my fourth wedding invitation here in manipur. i have been to different kinds of weddings all over the world - from the festive island wedding in vanuatu, to the orthodox christian ceremony in ethiopia, the quiet tribal/christian weddings in ccpur and recently the glamorous wedding in imphal. the recent one in imphal was nice and colorful, though we didn't stay for a long time.

i love weddings. it is a good time to see people in different states of emotions: happiness, especially the parents who'd probably thought "i finally got rid of this person after 30 years"; anxiety ("does this man snore when he sleeps?"); hope ("I finally snagged a man after a long wait"); anger ("why can't i marry sally?") and more anxiety ("how am i going to pay for all these?"). it is also a nice time to see all the glitters (bought, borrowed), the clothes (renovated, re-covered, re-layered and received) and the make -up (minimal, natural and over the top).

all in all, the ceremonyand the formalization is a wonderful event. i think it is nice to say vows and pledge that for the next 6 months i will not sleep with anyone else... or promise that i shall never leave you until the next one comes along.

in the philippines, which has been very americanized in terms of the whole sheebang, a bride MUST wear white. and have a blue garter (no less!) to throw it to the expecting bachelors (or ex-married guys) for the fun of finding his future bride. the event has become a pre-dating bonanza and a matching ceremony for those who are : (1) over 25 years old and not yet married (2) 20 years old and never had a relatioship (3) successful men/women who have the face of a horse (4) mommy's boy/daddy's girl (5) stuck to internet porn (6) masculine women/feminine men (7) was in previously bad relationship and (8) just about for anybody who plays the game.

i know you sense some bitterness in my tone. hehehe. so i have to stop here before i destroy the romantics in you. but should the day come for me to get married, you can rub this blog on my face and say: "that's what you get!".

if there is one thing i love about weddings and you really have to press me on this, i would answer: free food and booze. tough choice, but hey, one's gotta live!

This Game Called Love

Marie is trying to set me up with some one – through Facebook. I know that she means well, me being unattached at this age, and at the very grope of loneliness. I have been thinking about it, you know weighing things – at 3 am, as usual. I have thought it best not to go through with the Facebook matching because of the following reasons:

1. There must be better ways to met people. What happened to the good old blind dating? Wouldn’t it be exciting for me to meet some 6-foot tall supermodel? (“How’s the view from down there? Breezy, with a light touch of humidity on the anterior region…”). Sitting in a bar or a resto, trying to look like a teenage boy and girl..

2. I am romantic. Blame it on the hundreds of books that I have read (not the Mills and Boons and Barbara Cartland variety ha? --- More like Twin Valley High…. Hehehehehe), the near thousands of films I have seen (who could go wrong with Sleepless in Seattle, huh?), and of course, my environment.

I have always believed in love and being in love. And despite the ever so growing doubting Thomases in this world, I still hope that there would be someone for me. I have been in good and bad relationships before and I have never regretted any of them. I could probably say that I have managed to maintain friendships with my partners despite separating and growing out of love.

Me and my friends would sometimes discuss about relationships and it would always focus on growing old and alone. We tend, however to forget one important part of this. Choice.

Some have relationships because they WANT to be in a relationship, and others sadly, NEED to be in a relationship. Oftentimes, the results are disastrous. It is hard to be in a relationship just to please other people – say your parents want you to marry because it is not nice to grow old a spinster. And however the outcome is, a choice has to be made beforehand. Should the choice not work, add one notch to your endless stream of experiences. Just hope that you will learn from these bad choices.

I have asked someone before to marry her. She said no, because she wasn’t ready. That was her choice. I broke up with her – that was my choice.

I have recently separated from someone, and though we love each other, the distance that keeps us apart is so painful. That was our choice.

Often people blame fate – but fate is just the road. You choose the road you want to take.
In this game of love, the victors are the ones who choose the right path. And just a thought, though totally unrelated – those who say they can’t survive without love, has not actually seen suffering in this world yet. Go to Africa and lament on the plight of the hungry children!

Anyways, I am thanking Marie for thinking of me. And I don’t deny the fact that I am looking for someone. I also don’t deny the fact that I am getting lonely and worried about getting old alone. Men, by nature are social animals. We need someone, somehow, sometime.

But until I find the one for me, I’ll keep hoping.

And if that doesn't work out, maybe I’ll give the Facebook match a go – when I’m seventy.