A Hard Look at Sports (or my lack of it)

“So… do you like football?”

It was afternoon tea time and while I was reviewing the charts, one of the staff came to me and asked me a very discriminating question. It took me a while to answer because – admittedly – I am too lame for sports. I could never remember a sport that I am good at.

Partly, I blame my mother because she never encouraged me to sweat it out. While my brother would get extra allowance for uniforms, shoes and sports equipments, I got extra money for book club memberships and choir uniforms. While he spends time playing every Saturday, I would be locked up in a pretend world or escaping to a distant land. No I did not smoke pot at that age – I was simply enjoying reading and watching movies. When we reached high school , loads of girls were after my brother for the prom; I got the class beauty queen.

At university, I actually considered going into sports. I tried bowling (I thought the ball was heavy), basketball (I wasn’t tall enough), baseball (I am near sighted), and swimming (I have fear of deep waters). I was okay at badminton and I was beginning to like it, but then the students' council responsibilities came and that came to a halt.

All my friends in the university are good at basketball. I was good in Chemistry. I have friends who are good in volleyball. I was always very good in English and composition.

While in Ethiopia, I pretended to love football during the world cup because there was free beer. The staff would bet on the teams and those who support the loosing team would buy beer. In Myanmar, I would be the medic and the team manager - not the player.

So when the guy asked me if I love football, I cringed at the thought because I don't want to lie. I just gave a generic answer: "Not so much, because I don't really support any team."

But honestly, I think I should start now - with the enlarging belly and the paleness of my skin, I should try something. Wrestling perhaps, or sepak takraw, or even join the marathon.

I'll think about it after I finish exercising my hands. I have been lifting this glassful of vodka tonic for the past hour now.

Wait. When will beer drinking be considered a sport?