Mid Life Attacks 6: Raving At Religion

It is Sunday in Manipur, India. And while half of the world is either sleeping or partying, here I am reluctantly trying to drag my sagging butt to the toilet. I need to have a quick shower - a task worthy of the "Believe -it-or-not"docu, because the water is freezing. Honestly, you just need to open the tap to thaw whatever hot desires you have.

Manipur,especially here in Churchandpur district, is about 90% Christian. Judging from its name "Church-and-poor", has had a commonality with a lot of missions. Hence Sunday, became a day of obligation. The first thing they asked me when I arrived, was my religion. Now, if I was being honest to myself, I would have said a non-practicing-Catholic-but-can-memorize-all-the-passages-of-the mass. But then, the nice guy in me said: Catholic. Rather proudly, I think.

And so it was that on every God given day, my staff has been asking me to go to the church with any of them. And I have been successful so far. I have said on different occasions that I had a cough, on one occasion that I had a head ache, on another occasion that I had diarrhea and recently, I said I had a testicular pain. I am running out of reasons and this poor guy came to me last Friday during clinic and asked me in a loud voice, that half of the population would hear: "How is your pain on your testicle?"I did not say anything but moved my head in an unconvincing manner -- meaning okay. "So you can go to church with me on Sunday, then?"

I smiled and said : "Why the hell not?"

Lesson number 1: Thou shalt not lie. If you lie, be consistent about it.

This morning, I have had to search for an illness deep within my medical crevices but just couldn't come up with a likely condition. Well, I said yes and so I have to suffer the morning cold!

Lesson number 2: Thou shalt not commit to anybody anything you don't want to do. If you do, have alternative plans and have an escape route.

The water in the toilet, as I have said is freaking cold and as I washed my hair and you know whats, I shouted God's name in vain! Not once but several times -- and I also involved all the members of His family! Not a very way to start when you are meeting your maker in this small building within the next 30 minutes.

As I was putting on warm clothes (after the shower of course), my phone rang (yes, Norie, we do have networks here). It was my staff member. He wanted to know if it's okay for me to meet his cousin. I smiled, because I saw her before as she brought him lunch to the clinic - and she was the younger and fuller version of Ina Raymundo (remember her, Chito?).

And while I splashed myself with liters of Clinique Happy, I thought that God, must be indeed on my side.

Lesson number 3: Thou shalt not be afraid to take risks. Who knows, it might just be your day. And with God present in His house, anything is possible.

And with that, I am off to church.