Obama won! Obetchabygollywow. I felt like getting my balalaika and sing the Winds of Change. ("Follow the Moskva and down to Gorky Park...")
I was so glad that I declared a moment of silence to remember Nonoy. Not that Nonoy is dead. He is just a person who you don’t want to be. Okay, let’s be kind --- a living dead. Bong will not agree with me coz Nonoy has always been his client. He would always come to Nonoy’s defense whenever we (or is it just me??) would make fun of lil’ Chuckie. I am sorry but I do have my wicked side. I don’t discriminate Nonoy – he is an entirely unique being, and despite the fact that I don’t really like him, I am (was) always civil with him. He has potentials and talents, but despite the advance (or advancing) age, he needs to be guided and taught the essentials of right and wrong.
I am going to be defensive now – but what exists as a playful banter is not meant to hurt him. He is not perfect like the rest of us, afterall.
Anyways, back to the Obaman-of-the-year, I would so like to go back to a guy I met some months ago in Myanmar, so he can kiss Obama’s black ass. This guy is in his 50’s and is the most insipid, hateful and rude red necked bigot I have ever met in my life. He had been working for a “respectable” NGO for the past 10 years now and had had the opportunity to travel and meet different people. I won’t tell you of his nationality, but who ever can guess it right, wins a dinner at my favorite Thai resto in Manila.
So we were there, one rainy night in the UNHCR bar, having a round of vodka and tonic, when someone asks Mr. Universe where he had been prior to coming to Myanmar. Mr. U said that he had been to Kenya and that: “they are the worst criminals in this world”. Nobody made a comment.
He continued to talk about the Indians: “ They’re effing dirty”. Nobody said anything.
The Malawians: “They are sick because they are stupid”
The Americans: “Stupid and Rude”.
Brazilians: “Promiscuous”.
Australians: “Boring copycats”
Chinese: “Communist bastards”.
And so after we listened to his ranting about the worst members of the United Nations and still not one from among the 10 people in the bar commenting, he arrived at the Philippines (Mabuhay!).
He said: “Filipinos will do anything for a dollar. They leave their children so they’ll earn dollars. I have no respect for those kinds of people”.
Now there I was, (hold my hand please) sitting in one corner happily drinking my vodka-tonic, attempting to not react at the ravings of this lunatic. But I couldn’t. I just had to.
So in my shivering Sean Penn voice, I spoke to Mr. Universe and said: “That is true. Filipinos will do anything to earn a dollar. They will wipe somebody’s ass for a dollar. This is so we can send this money to our family and our family will have a better life; our children will have a better education. This is sacrifice. But of course, you can’t understand sacrifice, because you have never sacrificed a thing in your life. Your ancestors invaded, colonized and stole other nation’s riches so (you) are now living the life that you are enjoying. Who are you to judge other people, when you, right here, right now, smell like a skunk?”
Oh my god. I had a standing ovation.
The guy kept quiet and as he was about to leave, the barman (who was Burmese/Myanmar), “accidentally” dropped his glass on his lap. Talk about karma.
So now that Obama has won, I just wished I would meet Mr. Universe again and give him the bleating and the beating that he deserves. And of course, he has to kiss all the asses that he maligned.
Of course I could arrange to have Nonoy live with him. Imagine. Wouldn’t that be a better world? Or would you call that reclusion penal?
I would call that justice – just where it is due.
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