One of our (project) drivers was caught intoxicated while driving. He reeks of alcohol and can not walk straight when he came back from one of our peripheral clinics. Now, strictly speaking, he would have been fired right there and then. But the softie in me called him and asked if he had been drinking; just to give him the chance to explain, you know. I have been entertaining thoughts that this guy (who is in his mid 20’s) might have family or personal problems. The (now former) driver walked up to me and looked me in the eye and said: “Is it wrong? I have been doing it for a long time now. The previous PC’s (project coordinator) don’t mind…” He was sacked immediately.
A very good friend gave another good friend an advice: “ Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan as higit pa sa malansang isda” (Those who don’t look back where they came from are worse than rotten fish.) Nicely said if you suffer from verbal dyslexia, or you tend to mix several sentences for others to get your message.
And of course, there was this story about our counselor who was mean with everybody who abuses his car. He was given a warning last year for punching a guard who put wild boar’s meat inside his car (and of course it smelled), and was again given one this year for kicking a child who wanted to climb on his car’s hood. So during the interview portion, we asked him if he is aware that he should not inflict harm on anyone as he is a representative of our organization. He said yes. We asked him if he really did hit the boy. He said yes. He also added: “I also slapped him until he fell down.” Opps.
I love listening to and collecting anecdotes like these. I got a bit of notoriety from my classmates because I really would laugh at the bad grammar, bad sentence construction and just plain lack of common sense. I have been labeled a snob, because I speak polished English (with accent if you please), and have had fights because of this (bad) behavior. I am sorry. It is just my coping mechanism. I can’t beat anyone at sports, so I have to be good at something --- making fun. I do feel rotten afterwards.
And don’t deny the fact that you have also laughed at the misery and stupidity of some people!
A German friend did a lecture on malnutrition and he wanted emphasize the nutritional value of “nuts”. A local farmer stood up and said: “thank you for letting us know. But we are farmers, so how can we use our “nets” in the field?”
Of course, Miss University of ______! This girl was the ultimate crowd favorite. She was beautiful and walked like a model. She had long black hair that seemed to shine forever and complemented her sexy figure. Question and answer came. She was asked: “If you get pregnant at this age (she was 17 years old), what would you do?” The girl, without batting an eyelash said: “Well, I will burn mababy! I thank you!” She was awarded fourth runner up.
Later on, I saw her on television as she had become a junior newscaster in our local network. She was reporting about a fire ablazing on one of the squatter’s area. She said: “The fire can not be burned. It is so strong that the firemen’s hostess can penetrate through.”
Yeah. I was wondering what was with her and fires, anyway.
Melanie Marquez, Erap. You think you’re original?
I love being Pinoy. Our humour is so unique it can tickle me dead.
hahaha. you are right.
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